A few days ago, a friend told me how she moved from Indonesia to Malaysia after completing high school because she wanted to continue her studies whilst her parents wanted to marry her off. At the time, she received 3 marriage proposal. Without her parents' knowledge, she signed herself with an agent that would take her to Malaysia to work.
A few years ago, I heard how a parent told their child to stop studying ( she was doing her diploma) because she was already married at the time and was pregnant with her first baby.
In the last few months, there were many highlights about 16 and 17 year olds getting married and it was much celebrated.
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This 2017 movie is said to be the most politically correct and best captured the life of Kartini, daughter of noble family in 1900 Jawa.
According to custom, the daughter of a noble family must live in seclusion, not be seen by public. Confined to the house, her days were filled with being taught how to be a noble lady while waiting to be married off to a noble man. A girl is considered to be of marriageable age after her first menstrual period. It was also a norm that men marry more than one wife. All this did not appeal to Kartini.
Before leaving to further his studies abroad, her brother left her a set of keys, telling her there is a key to a door that would take her to the outside world. She was intrigued. What she found was a cupboard full of books that became her bridge to the outside world. Her brother also continued to send her books from abroad.
Her father broke customs when he allowed Kartini and her sisters to leave the house, befriended a Dutch lady, publish articles (under her father's name), opened a class for young girls at their home teaching them to read and write and even allowed her to apply to study abroad. Other noble men came to confront her father but he was adamant that change must happen. He supported her dreams until he fell ill.
Her biological mother, Ngasirah was made housekeeper when her father married her step mother from a noble family. From that day, she was not allowed to call Ngasirah "mother".
When her father fell ill, Kartini's step mother, noble lady of the house stepped in and told her to stop her act. She was locked in her room for her defiance. She was told to accept a marriage proposal.
There was a scene where Ngasirah took Kartini out and sat her by the water. There, she told Kartini to call her "mother" as they were away from the house. She told Kartini how her father too, when he was younger did not want to marry a noble lady and did not want to continue his father's legacy. Ngasirah told Kartini she made the sacrifice to give her children a better life.
Later, Kartini agreed to marry with a set of conditions that was agreed by her family and her husband to be. Days after her wedding, she received her acceptance letter to study abroad.
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Fast forward to 2021, the conversation about a woman's right to equal opportunity is still being discussed. Woman today are still made to choose between family and dream / career.
Has our lives really changed at all from the time Kartini lived and fought for her right to knowledge and living her dream?
HiD.
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